Why I will never go to Singapore

I read last night with some amazement that chewing gum is illegal in Singapore. It is a punishable misdemeanor offense that is supposed to deter littering. Now I'm not a big gum chewer but we're a much, much bigger country and I know lots of people that chew gum regularly and I haven't noticed that we have a particular problem with used gum. If you want to talk about coffee cups, cigarette butts, newspapers and myriad other things then I'll agree that litter can be a problem. I don't recall ever having to modify my walking path, needing to make an unplanned trip to the car wash or not having my 9 iron approach shot land where I want because of chewing gum. Have any of you experienced significant problems or inconvenience directly caused by gum? And remember Mike Fay? In Singapore they cane people for misdemeanors like littering! I don't think that would be fun. I'll pass on the Bazooka until I get home, thanks.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished!

Can you really believe that some policeman actually gave a guy a ticket for jaywalking after he saved a couple of lives? The good samaritan was seriously injured but the women he was helping escaped without injury. First of all, do any of you actually know anyone that has ever received a ticket for jaywalking? I don't. And if the women crossed WITH the well meaning criminal shouldn't they get tickets too? Officer, aren't there some old ladies out there driving Buick's the size of aircraft carriers that maybe park a few inches too far away from the curb that you could focus your considerable yet misdirected energies on? You must be new.

Low-Tech Solution

We've all obviously heard about the airplane that had to ditch into the Hudson River recently and I'm sure we would all agree that the pilot did an absolutely masterful job of avoiding a total catastrophe. I guess it has been pretty much determined that what brought them down was flying directly into a flock of Canadian geese which choked both engines. Well my son, who designs jet engines for a major manufacturer, told me how they test for something like that. They have a giant tube in the test lab where they set up an engine and start it running at normal speed. Then through that tube they shoot frozen chickens into the engine to see if it will stall. They're probably generic, not Perdue or anything like that. So if you're ever flying somewhere and you run into a batch of chickens at 20,000 feed that just returned from Alaska you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Glad I could help.

Opportunity for US Oil Companies

Joe Kennedy, son of the late Senator Robert Kennedy, runs a company called Citizens Energy in Boston. They help supply free heating oil to those in need from oil donated by Venezuela. Well apparently there's a little unrest down there right now and coupled with the downturn in the global economy it doesn't look like they'll be able to come through this year, leaving many elderly and poor having to decide between heat and food. Now if I recall correctly didn't the big US oil companies report record profits recently? Considering how the general public feels about the oil companies and the politicians that are in their pockets wouldn't this be a great opportunity to get a little positive PR by donating some heating oil to those people that really need it? And it also makes me wonder why we had to obtain the free oil from outside the US in the first place!

Computer Viruses

Is there a valid reason why some very skilled and talented people spend their time attempting to make others miserable? My computer has been laid up recently because of a virus that I somehow caught. I bought and installed one of the leading anti-virus software packages and it's told me a number of times how it has found and removed a little gem called "Spyware Guard 2008" only to have it reinstall itself and reopen within a few minutes. Imagine what that talent could accomplish if used in a more positive direction!

Bernie Madoff

Well I guess they've really taught this guy a lesson for stealing untold amounts of money from schools, religious organizations and just about everyone! He's under house arrest so he's supposedly confined to his ritzy zillion dollar digs although he was on the news yesterday walking down the street shoving photographers and reporters. Doesn't sound like he was very confined to me. I wonder if I bilked millions of dollars from people if they'd let me stay at home? My guess is that I'd be given an orange jumpsuit and a number to call my own and I'd be a guest of the state for a pretty long time. Why are criminals treated differently if they're rich? A criminal is a criminal is a criminal!

Airport Security

I saw a spot on TV last night about airport security, and that so many people were complaining about it and being rude to the inspectors. I only travel by air a couple of times a year so it's not a real big deal to me. My wife usually gets the full treatment because she has a replacement knee which lights up every little device they have at the airport, so we're used to her being carted off to the side where they check her up, down and sideways while I attempt to recover all carry-ons, shoes, watches, keys, loose change and whatever else. Now only once did we encounter a security person that might have been considered a bit "over zealous". Maybe she watched a Rambo double-header the night before but she was only doing her job. If you are in a hurry then it's not their fault that they're trying to protect you and the hundreds of other people that are flying that day. Remember the old adage "lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part!". The only problem we had occurred in Atlanta when we were returning from a graduation with a 9 week old puppy. We were at the airport in plenty of time however they decided to open only 2 security lines for the literally hundreds of people attempting to make a flight. They opened up 2 other lines as soon as we got to the original ones, of course. However we missed our flight by 5 minutes because of security. The airline did put us on a later flight and the puppy was an absolute gem - not a whimper at all. So yes, that was dumb on their part but it did all work out. We shouldn't be angry with the people that are attempting to keep us safe - we should be angry with the people that made all this this necessary in the first place!

A Parting Shot

To begin, let me make sure everyone understands that I am a self employed software consultant and project manager so although I cannot technically be "laid off" we realize that we are owed no unemployment compensation if we suddenly find ourselves on the bench as we like to call it. I was under contract since January of 1995 to a large international insurance company that just received a large dose of government aid and usually is just referred by 3 letters. On December 1 I was summarily told that my contract had just ended without warning. OK, it's a little abrupt but I have to admit I was surprised considering what I was in charge of for this company, but they're up to their hubcaps in problems and I guess it could happen. I have been attempting to find something else but between the economy and the holidays things are moving a bit slowly out there which comes as no surprise. However last week I received a Christmas card in the mail from, oddly enough, the guy that told me I was all done a couple of weeks before. I opened the card and realized it was pretty generic and actually was signed by his wife, not him. However there was a computer printed, very festive looking letter folded inside. That letter went on to tell people receiving their cards that they would be stopping after this year because 'with so many people having trouble meeting day to day expenses and more people needing help with basic necessities like food ... that they will donate the money normally spent on cards to a local food pantry'. However we all would remain in their thoughts in the future. Hmmm. Do they realize that they sent these cards to the people that they just terminated without warning 3 weeks before Christmas? Is receiving and reading this card supposed to make everything OK? I don't think so. Now I can't speak for any of the others that were sent packing the day I was, and I'm not ready to have to start looking for a bridge to move my family under, but I found this to be completely inappropriate. At 42 cents postage each they should have saved the $2.10 this year and kept those cards. Sometimes the less you say the better off you are. I think this was one of those times. We all know how to close our mouths, the secret is in knowing when!

Vladimir Lenin

Why is there a statue of Vladimir Lenin, the Communist leader, in Seattle? I don't recall ever hearing about him growing up or migrating there.